The four words that make my soul cry. Its almost always meant to be comforting. I get that, I’m not angry with the people who say it as such, more the concept.
“It could be worse, you could be dying.” That’s true but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m in agony every day.
“It could be worse, you could be in a wheelchair.” I could be, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had to use them before because I’m in too much pain to walk, or I’m so exhausted and weak I can’t hold my body up. I’ve had to use a walking stick since I was 18. It could be worse but it feels pretty bad to me.
“It could be worse, you could be living in hospital” I’m back and forth to the doctors and hospitals, that’s not what you expect when you’re 20.
It could always be worse and like anyone who has been unwell ever, I understand that. I count myself lucky that I’m still here and despite fibro playing havoc with my life its not going to kill me. But from time to time I want to feel sorry for myself. I know that when someone says that to me they just want to make me feel better, and for that I’m grateful, but sometimes I don’t need you to make it better for me. Sometimes I just need someone to listen and to realise it’s really hard to live like this. I try to look for the positives with my condition, I’ve been able to meet new people and be supported by people who I’ve never even met through fibromyalgia Facebook pages and I’ve caught up on a lot of TV. Having someone just listen when I’m having a moment of weakness and am unable to be positive, is all I want and need.
So to all those guilty of saying “it could be worse” (me sometimes too) maybe try saying “I can see that you’re struggling” or “that seems really tough” and the one thing that people say that does help is “well done.” A simple well done for carrying on with life and all the rubbish that we have to deal with. When I’m feeling low, to know someone is proud of me when I’m struggling so much gives me that bit of strength to carry on.